passionfruit

That is exactly what my AH says about himself!!!

However, I could see how it was affecting him in ways he denied to himself.

On the other hand, he was on his job for 26 years. {He also knew every union rule and manipulated them til he could no more, and then walked the line until he was out of trouble. None of his issues at work were related to alcohol.} I never saw him go to work drunk.

He did drink and drive every single day, though, after work.

In the last 6 months he was diagnosed with gout, diabetes, yeast infection skin rash, and high liver enzymes--all related to his drinking. Prior to that, he had no health issues, other than hangovers, related to it.

I think the functional part comes from an outside perception. They appear to be normal from what people can see.

Keep in mind, however, most people cannot see inside the A's real life. Until you spend a great deal of time with someone, you don't really know them. My AH spends time with noone, except for a few hours at an outing very rarely.

Noone EVER came to our home. When I invited someone over, my sister for example, he still got passed out drunk, but even, she, in the beginning attributed it to his "deep sadness he carries within him."

While I know mine is not remotely normal, as a matter of fact he is probably the most abnormal person I personally know, the people around him consider him, "normal, just drunk too much."

They don't deal with him enough to know who he is. That is by design on both parts, I think. He intentionally keeps his distance and they kinda know but don't want to know and keep their distance.

I was married to the man 2 years, and met his mom one time, and 2 of his 4 siblings one time each. What does that say? He spoke on the phone to them all a total of 6 times in 2 years.

When I did meet his mom, she asked me, "Why does he hate me so much?"
I couldn't figure that one out myself, then. Now I suspect, it is because he hates himself so much, he has no room to love anyone.:*******:


Anyhoo........