hi and
. I'm glad you found SR. I hope you keep coming back here for support.
Now, as for that suicide attempt; it was your AW's ultimate manipulation, and it paid off. You got scared and chose to stay with her. She's holding you hostage and you are accepting those terms.
I'm sorry that you are in this difficult situation, but I'd venture to say that there is a reason you are here at SR, discussing your situation. HP (or God or whatever you call it/him/her) has lead you here. This is where you begin your journey.