I very much felt like a father vs a husband. This is my codependence. You might want to do some research on it. I thought I knew how to fix my wife if she would only listen and do as I told. It will not work. Ever. I realized I was powerless over the alcohol and I was becoming just as sick because of my emotional state. Relationships with alcoholics are dysfunctional by nature so you feeling like a father is not surprising at all. Keep reading posts on this board. Try Al Anon. Again, take care of yourself and kids first and foremost.