Originally Posted by
atalose 
Stick to the facts of what you know – try to take emotions out of it as best you can.
Fact #1…You thought rehab would be a magic pill so you stayed with him thinking you could work it out.
Fact#2…He is still sick, just because he has obtained from consuming alcohol for 6 weeks doesn’t mean he is healthy. His brain is still saturated from the alcohol.
Fact#3…He is listening to other sick people who are his equals right now. He’s not reached beyond them for help.
Fact#4…He’s blaming and playing spine Dr by telling you that you need rehab. It deflects away from him and his issues.
Fact#5…When you need/want time to yourself like shopping and running errands – turn off your phone, you deserve that time for you.
As long as you know the truth, you know what you know and stick to the facts then his spew won’t affect you as much.
Maybe yes his to death without admitting to any of his quakery, tell him you need time to yourself away from him to think about all these things he is saying, kind of put it back on him and in his court. Then the next step would be that your therapist told you that you need to have no contact with him for a while! Tell him your al-anon people friends recommends distance…………..alot of distance right now.
Not to play games here but more of owning up to things the things he’s said and the things you need for you right now.
By the way, how did you feel during those 30 days without him?
Well..The weekend is over and I wanted to update all you. This story has the biggest twist in it, you will be surprised...
The quoted information above was written perfectly...(THANK YOU)
and Yes I believed rehab was the magic pill. He thought it would be and so did I....Damn New Comers, what was I thinking?? lol
He came home yesterday and the smell of booze was awful. He told me he was packing up and moving away from me "I" was bad news. From a very heated discussion, we finally were exhausted and SURRENDERED...All feelings came out in a nice manner. Lots of tears were shed on both sides.
"I" got to release alot on anger. (Thank Goodness)
#1 - What I have learned in my terms: Surrender, doesnt mean accepting nor does it mean laying down like a shag carpet, it doesnt mean following or playing their games. It means, letting go and accepting that their mind games, hurtful words & childish behaviors, their ability to maintain jobs and act like a normal adult...is beyond their mental compacity!!
It also means, you might as well talk to your dog. Once I come to terms with that I surrended, all of my feelings and realized...Im okay. The words that came to me this weekend was: Quit trying to tell the mentally challenged person, what I need or want, it is time I start telling myself what I want or need.
He did get a uhaul and loaded some of his stuff. Transferred money into my check book to pay bills. He got a good paying job and is moving almost 2000 miles from me. We both agreed...WE BOTH NEED TO HEAL!!!
In time, married or not...We both still want to be best friends...(More Tears)
This morning, I kissed him Good Bye & told him I was happy for his decision.
Now I have peace and time for my healing. It is the first night in months, that I dont have to have the cops phone numbers on quick redial and chairs under the doors..
So no meetings for me tonight, Im going to bed for a PEACEFUL NIGHTS SLEEP!!!
This week (Not just a day..IM CLAIMING one solid WEEK))) is for me (BECAUSE IM A PIG & I DESERVE IT) lol
Thanks to all of you for your support!