Hi,
Just wanted to give you a little bit of hope, too. I became an alcoholic after two marriages to alcoholics (one recovered for good, the other did not).
I wasn't a physical fitness nut (couch tater-tot), but I was on the outside very successful--responsible government position, had my car and house, supported my kids, never got a dui or went to jail or went to the hospital because of my drinking. BUT I eventually became more and more isolated, and in the end was drinking to live and living to drink.
I've been sober for two and a half years in AA. My first husband has been sober 31 years. So there ARE success stories out there. It can be a long haul, though, and it may have to get a lot worse before it gets better. I quit drinking because I could feel my life slipping away from me, and I did not want to die alone and drunk. Other people have to have dramatic losses of family, home, job before they recover. And, of course, there are the sad people who never do.
I strongly suggest you get to Al-Anon. It won't help you "get her sober" but it will make your own life and your family's life a lot saner. You will learn to establish boundaries for what you are unwilling to tolerate and learn to detach with love from the alcoholic. Detachment doesn't mean leaving the person, it just has to do with not allowing yourself to become enmeshed in her disease and drama, and not enabling her disease by continuing to protect her from the consequences of her drinking. Al-Anon was a lifeline for me when I needed it.
Glad you're here with us.