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Old 02-22-2011, 03:37 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Tuffgirl
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Just to add my name to the pile of posts - welcome to SR and no - your situation is not unique to any of us here. It's very familiar. I am sorry you are facing this. But I have to second (or third at this point) Thumper's post that yes, you have already lost her to alcoholism. And no, you don't need to lose yourself in the process nor does it mean you have to give up on her, either. Just that you have no power to change anything but how you choose to respond to this. It's a hard one to wrap your head around...I work on it everyday.

My husband was sliding from functional to completely dysfunctional alcoholism when I gave the ultimatum that got him into AA. Whether he'll stay on this path remains to be seen, but at least he's there. He may still be struggling and we are separated right now, but at least its progress in the right direction. He's back to running again, which is so nice to see. I've missed that guy. I still believe in him, but I am learning everyday to believe in myself first and foremost.

Al-Anon has been a life-saver for me (and many, many others). Please consider attending a few meetings. I will admit I still feel strange there sometimes, but the support I've received from the people there overshadows the strangeness of being there in the first place.

Good luck to you.
~T
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