You can do this, Passionfruit. You are so much stronger than you know. You're not alone, we're here for you. It's not the same, I know, online vs F2F, but we're here.
I love this:
Originally Posted by
passionfruit 
Then I said to him. "I can see you. I can see who you are. No more hiding behind your magic screen appearing to be what you want everyone to believe you are."
Big, big, big old bear hug.