Welcome to SR! You've found a very understanding, supportive and realistic group of people. As you indicated, no one here told you to give up on her and most likely, no one will. That is your choice and if and when the time comes to do that, you will know...not us.
Do educate yourself. Do open your heart to your own voice, your own needs and those of your children. Sometimes the voice of addiction screams so loudly, we don't pay attention to the smaller voices even when they are the most important ones.
It is so hard to accept that we are powerless because we love them SO much and don't understand how they are so willing to hurt us and themselves repeatedly. But addiction does not produce rational behaviors in anyone touched by it.
So sorry for your pain but so glad you found SR.