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Old 02-21-2011, 09:18 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Illumination
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 9
I'm not in a relationship...OR maybe I should say I'm in a not-relationship, because he keeps insisting that we're not in a relationship. He's been sober for over 3 years, way before I met him, and he's a wonderful person, and I was very attracted to him the first time I laid eyes on him. I do have strong feelings for him, but I don't care much about labels, so if we could just relax and let this be whatever it is, I'd be fine with that.
But no, of course we can't do that. He keeps treating sexuality like another addiction, fighting it, then giving in, then feeling guilty and apologizing to me, saying he's dragging me through his issues, and that he should just be celibate and concentrate on himself until he's worked it all out. That lasts about a week, then he texts me wanting me to come over, I'll ask if this is just going to make him feel guilty again, we'll go round in circles until I give in, then the whole thing repeats itself. I feel like my choices are rejecting him or enabling him, and I'm not happy with that.

This has been going on for 6 months. I've had lots of people say to just give up on him, he's just using me, I should be trying to find some guy who will want to be in a relationship with me- and I always add "that I could manage to settle for".
I don't want to be in a relationship with some guy. I want to break the pattern in this relationship and get to a point we're both comfy with.
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