*Sigh* Am I ever going to DO THIS?!
Okay, so I am not new to SR, as you can see.
However, I did just come back from a relapse after 4 months clean, and have to sask myself: When am I gonna get straight?! Using isn't awful to me, I didn't reach some "rock bottom", but, as I've been told, your 'bottom' is wherever you decide to stop digging, and I've dug myself pretty deep.
My relapse was only 2 days long, and nothing too out of the ordinary happened during those two days. I just decided I could not go down that road again, and told on myself. My sponsor has me doing a relapse worksheet, and I am going to go over my previous steps before continuing on.
I know this has to end. I can no longer afford to go on using. It is tearing my life apart. My husband can't deal with it, and I don't want to lose him or my son.
So I guess "where I am" is at the bottom I've created. I am choosing to put down the shovel and pick up the tools to climb out of this hole.