brokenheartfool

I know you were writing to Live, not me, but I notice a great degree of diversity in people on this issue...off topic a bit, but related to the original topic in a way...

As for me, I've long ago surrendered to the idea of changing anybody's mind. People do as they will. Live and let live is my motto. I may give them a piece of my mind, and I sometimes do just that, but I don't expect them to do anything with that information, not even think about what I said. With low expectations, I am rarely disappointed.
It feels good to at least say it. Sometimes I see the lightbulb go on, and I feel as if I have contributed something to another person's thinking-life.
We only hear what we are ready to.
I've spent very little of my life telling anybody what to do with theirs, verbally in person anyway. Online forums are one place I cross that line; as a writer-thinker and not an extrovert or debate type in person, this is my optimum place to express opinion.
When I became codependent it was extremely frustrating to me; I had zero experience in codependency. Most of my life I spent minding my own business, and didn't even concern myself with others business, and even lacked concern.
Codependency was good for me in a way. It balanced me out to start paying more attention to other's feelings and added compassion that was missing.

Spousal codependency is the most difficult it seems to me because we have formed an emotional bond that includes a partnership that must reach compromise and agreement, as it's the nature of the beast. So to clarify, stating that I didn't discern where I ended and he began was innacurate, as the truth is that I saw "us" as "one" in emotional relationship matters, but not in our own personal quests or interests.
With others, not spouses, I can agree to disagree just fine on relationship matters. With spouses I find this particularly difficult as I desire to work toward the ideal and hold the spousal relationship to a higher standard.