I've been thinking about this for a while now. I knew my husband had an alcohol problem when we got married. I thought he would "outgrow" it. My therapist agrees that I probably would not have made another choice. There was no alcohol abuse in my family of origin but now I feel there are some very "needy" people in my life. And I don't like to be the needy one in any relationship. I always have to feel like I have the upper hand. Even in my professional life I work with needy people. Its like I am attracted to them and invite them to attach themselves to me. Does it make me feel better? Does it feed my ego? Not sure. I do know that when I was in high school, my best friend was male. He would "disappear" for days at a time. I would be frantic trying to get in touch with him because I 'needed" him. I knew he would not return calls but I chose to overlook his faults because I needed him in my life so much. When he was around he did feed my ego and helped me not feel sorry for myself. I realized that I never wanted to be that dependent on anyone else again. Now I have a hard time asking for help and accepting help. So I rather give help and have them validate me by needing me. That is my codependency.