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Old 02-21-2011, 04:30 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
brokenheartfool
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 344
Originally Posted by Learn2Live View Post
I guess what I mean to say is that Codependency, to me, is the opposite of all these things I have listed. I used to be so severely dependent on others for everything. Especially my emotional life.
I really like this...healing through the 12 steps does work, even though I rarely attend alanon. Some basics are so on the mark.

Originally Posted by BuffaloGal View Post
My own definition is: codependency is the inability to discern where you end and other people begin. It's not a line that's carved in stone, but if I ask myself if I'm living and acting in my life or someone else's (and I'm honest with myself), it becomes obvious which side of the boundary I'm on at the moment.
Buffalogal--that's brilliant in its simplicity!
I think for me, that's why I became so codependent; I was "in love" so fully that I couldn't discern where he ended and I began, and when I sniffed problems, I was so emotionally attached to them that I created as many problems as I was witnessing. Detachment was impossible.
I have since learned that we are two separate people that love each other. We are not joined at the hip.
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