Originally Posted by
chicory 
i am sorry for your brothers troubles. is he also refusing to get mental help? or evaluation? I hope things work out for him. i know it hurts you. And how would you know as a young person, what was going on with your brother? how do you know even now, if there is still something that he might do for his self, if things get really tough. perhaps he is leaning on gf like my son is leaning on me. dont blame yourself. these things are so complicated, it seems.
Thank you Chicory!
My brother was hospitalized and evaluated in 2009. I remember being so grateful at the time, thinking that he was finally getting help. He was in the hospital for a week and put on medication. He doesn't have insurance, but he is able to see a councilor at a county run clinic a couple times a month.
My family of origin (FOO) is still extremely dysfunctional. None of us actually know what he was diagnosed with. He didn't tell us and we didn't ask (typical for my family). I think my mother is still in denial and doesn't truly comprehend the magnitude of his problems. She thinks he just needs to "snap out of it" and get a job.
For the longest time, I thought his problems were strictly from being an ACA. Now I believe that he is struggling with a more severe mental illness. I started obsessing about his life again shortly after he was discharged from the hospital. When I thought he was "just" an ACA it was easier for me to detach. Knowing that he has a mental illness triggers my codependency. I kept trying to rally my mother and sister, "We HAVE to help him!" But my mother stood firm in her believe that he is an adult and needs to solve his problems on his own. I'm sort of thinking there must be someplace in between not solving his problems and not ignoring they exist.
Currently, he's not communicating regularly anyone in our family. But he seems like now he is able to use his "mental illness" as yet another excuse for why he can't function in society.
It is true though that many people live and function with mental illness. People learn to live with a huge number of challenges in life. Guess the key is accepting where you're at and figuring out a path from there.
I really can't tell my brother what he should be doing. It's his life and it's up to him to create the life that he wants.
You know, I should take my own advice :-)
Stay strong!
db