To quote Melody Beattie: It is heroic and lifesaving to learn how to not react and to act in more healthy ways.
Most of us, however, need help to learn to do that.
That takes time, years in some circumstances, less in others.
When people are addressing me, I hope they use constructive criticism, honestly spoken with gentle words. I believe direct honesty is as necessary as support is.
I may heed their words. I may not, depending on where I am at in my learning process.
I found it very overwhelming when i first arrived here. People spoke of codependency and nc. And I adopted those words without really knowing what they meant. I assumed I was codependent because I was here and married an alcoholic!!:rotfxko
I needed support, so I stuck around and started trying to learn. So very much to learn. Book after book.
Those that seem to go nowhere, I think may just need time.
Detachment? I am just now starting that chapter, so I can't really speak of it yet... lol
Getting caught in the drama? I probably do at this point...though I think that will not always be the case!!
