Hi, and welcome.
Whether he's an alcoholic or not (and he very well may be), his drinking behavior is affecting you for the worse.
I suggest you read the "stickies" at the top of the forum, and get yourself to some Al-Anon meetings. Al-Anon is for people who are affected by someone else's drinking. It doesn't matter whether they are alcoholic or not.
I totally "get" trying to control the drinking behavior. The deal about this is that we didn't CAUSE the drinking, we can't CONTROL it, and we can't CURE it. All we can do is to change our own responses, which makes our lives saner and calmer, so we can ultimately make good decisions for ourselves. Sometimes that means staying and sometimes that means going. Nobody will force you to do anything you aren't ready to do.
Glad you found us here.