I remember being in a women's group where a woman said, "I just decided I was never going to have sex again if I didn't want to."
IT HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS.
I could say that??!?
WOOHOO!
I went straight home to my bf and said I was done and I didn't know if I would EVER want to have sex again!
I did, eventually. He was wonderful. I worked through a lot of stuff with him and eventually realized I didn't want to have sex WITH HIM.
I found a new bf and had lots of fun (but that was after I developed the skill to know when I was feelin' it, so to speak, and when I wasn't).
No is SO freeing!