Originally Posted by
dogluvah 
Photuris, I'm trying to understand this. How is he holding down a job if he's falling down drunk all the time? How has he been drunk like this for years without repurcussions such as DUI's, problems at work, failing health? Or has all that happened to him?
I'm new here, and don't understand the whole addiction thing (which is why I'm here) but I am in some kind of weird relationship kind of thing with a man who somehow managed to graduate college and keep a job while having substance abuse issues. In fact, the big thing that turned his life around was that he was offered a promotion that required him to move to another state, and he took full advantage of that to turn his life around. He's smart, ambitious/goal-orientated and very perceptive, and he used those gifts to hide his problems and maintain appearances.
Not all alcoholics are falling down drunk all the time- some are pretty good at hiding it when they want to. There's also a variety of sources of enabling- my ex-BIL drank at work, and his boss would have him clock out and go sleep it off in the car when he got too drunk, so my sister didn't figure it out until she looked over his paystubs and realized he was not getting paid for all the hours he was supposedly at work.
Oh, I guess I'm not that new to this- I remember going to an Al-Anon meeting with my sister when I was 11 or 12. He quit drinking, and they had a pretty good life for about 15 years. There are problems in life unrelated to alcoholism, but the point is that getting to that low point doesn't mean you're going to be stuck there, there will be a point when you back and see how far you've come.