Slipped Big Time (Me, that is)
Hi, been a couple of weeks since I posted, my AW had just come out of the second 30 day. She relapsed after a couple of days. Even with what I have learned in Al-Anon I was crushed, I’d allowed myself to hope.
She was whisked off to her parents 3000 miles away in their own co-dependent mission to have her fixed, Detox, stripped of money. I “let go” and let them at it.
For our part we moved out of the house at short notice, took a house in the town 20 miles away where my 16 year old can come home nights instead of staying at boarding school (Psychologist advised she needed family time, she has started to suffer some sort of stress disorder). I can run the 6 year old to the school over near where our house is.
It was a huge relief to create a sanctuary from the insanity and terror. I felt empowered. Keep in the focus on myself, was doing well. Still worrying about my AW and if she was safe/alive etc.
AW did sobriety for a week, was raving about her AA friends (Lip-service?) Sure enough she slipped again, huge drama tonight, got had got some money changed her ticket to come back. Now I have the 16 year old begging that she doesn’t come back even to the neighbourhood, the in-laws blame me for the fact that she got the money to change the airline ticket to come back. I think they really believe they can put her under lock and key and have her fixed.
My problem is I’m terrified of what to do next, do I try to remove her access to more money back here? (Seems against the Al-Anon principles I’ve tried to adopt), do I take away the car, she was bad for drunk driving, but if I take away the car how would she get to meetings if she needed to, she needs money or a car it seems.
I feel like I am back into the mad place of controlling, but I feel I need to do something.
Oh boy, I have slipped myself big time!
Anxiously, Reef...