Originally Posted by
Shirt423 
My (x?) abf is currently in a hospital for psycological testing and will be going to rehab when he is discharged. I did similar things with encouragment and love. Obviously that did not stop him from binging and ending up 1000 miles away with no money, no food, and sleeping in his car. When he needed help he reached out to his xgf because she enabled him for 7 years and he knows he can count on her to bail him out.
My point is that I think these letters/ messages/ conversations do more for us than they do for them. If we put into words how much we love them and are here for them, then we won't feel like we gave up on them and we don't blame ourselves (and we shouldn't). So do what you need to do for yourself, but keep your expections of their reaction extremely low.
Hugs.
Thank You for the hugs .. I wish you a good ending to your dilema. I do believe my situation is quite different than most in that we are not living together. It does not mean I love them any less though. I am lucky in a way in that hopefully we can get on the route to recovery and with me not Living in the same house the battles are less. However with that said it is very hard to be away when I feel she does not need to be alone right now. Also the very active drinking has not been forever. I feel bad when I read all the stories here. I really do feel fortunate. I have to try to stay on the positive side without being delusional. Thats the tough part.
Thank You for your input and support