I had to get to a point (and it was hard going) where words from a person I had always loved and respected couldn't penetrate the barrier I put around myself. It felt so foreign to completely discount him, but I had to struggle really hard to just decide that I wouldn't listen anymore.
Then the abusiveness stopped and the mindgames stopped. When I wouldn't play anymore. It was sad and disappointing, but for the sake of my sanity, I could no longer engage with him - drunk or sober.