When my rabf was still active, but faking it, he blamed me for not trusting him. Actually said that my mistrust was the reason he drank!!!WTF!!!
Now, over 1 year later, he is serious about recovery, and has been sober for 1year. He understands that it will take lots of good positive action over a long period of time for me to trust him. He is glad to have the opportunity to regain that trust, and he is not at all resentful that he doesn't have it from me or my daughter who was living with us as well.
I trust myself now.
Real recovery is definitely different, and because I have been recovering myself, I have more confidence in my own instincts.