Fair play to you mate, I know that I only stopped drinking when I was ready to stop drinking, No sooner. I had to smash myself down until there was nothing left inside of me and I was just beaten by booze. I knew also that if I drank then my life would never change and I would never again experience true happiness, love and peace of mind. These things are priceless to me now and I wouldn't trade them for a chemical.
I know for me then there was never any control whatsoever and also I would drink as soon as I woke up after drinking and was totally powerless over this. I was sick of living as an active alcoholic and I wanted my life to change. I knew that if i continued to drink then I would end up homeless and drinking 24/7 and dead within a year or two probably, OD or suicide. I knew I was a hopeless alkie, hellbent on destroying myself once i took a drink.
I'm so grateful to be out of that crap now, also once i let booze back in then I would just be looking to get smashed again at every oppurtunity. It's an easy quick-fix solution and for me brought nothing but pain, suffering to me and loved-ones, sadness and made me totally hopeless.
All The Best man, Peace.