Day 5
I went three days and then drank. My anxiety, particularly at night, has been really bad. I had a mild panic attack, and I went and bought a six pack. I drank them all. I didn't even really want the last one, but it was like I was an angry teenager. Rebelling against myself? I dont' know. It was ridiculous, and I just felt stupid.
So, this is my second go at it, and I'm now on my fifth day. I feel okay. I have a terrible sweet tooth right now. I decided that for the first week, I wasn't going to worry too much about some ice cream.
I'm having a really hard time sleeping, and overall I just feel...weird. I really like waking up and not feeling like crap though. Until I'd felt better for a few days, I didn't realize how bad I'd really been feeling.
I don't really have a plan other than to just continue not to drink until...I don't know. It's seems really daunting when I think too far ahead. Like my friend's wedding coming up. The thought of enduring a wedding sober is just, well, you know. I'll be surrounded by some of my best friends, and I will be the only one not drinking. I think I can do it, it's just going to be really odd.