Told my mom about RAH decision to leave me.
This has been are really hard secret to keep. I was afraid to tell my mom until I was really adjusted and had a plan and felt like I was back in control of how I feel and was able to cope appropriately. She’s 100% supportive of me ALL the time. But for her..watching me being destroyed by my relationship is just too hard. She was married to my A dad for over 20 yrs when he did the exact same thing. My dad never found recovery, but my mom did. She married a wonderful man a few yrs back and that give me hope for myself down the road. She told me awhile back that it was hard enough for her to live life as a spouse of an A but then to have to watch me be hurt in the same ways was almost too much to bear…so I’m careful about what I tell her. Ijust felt I was lying to her and I needed her to know that I’m really okay. So I shared what was going on.
She knows what a manipulating SOB my RAH was, and now that he’s reversed back to that person after 7 mos of recovery wel, it’s disappointing.
I go to school full time. I’m going to be a Nurse…so I study A LOT but ya’ll know those A.
You know it has to be all about them.
When it's not...they find a drama or trauma to CREATE chaos to bring it back to being all about them.
I won't even tell min RAH when I have a test at school because he'll pick a fight w/ me or cause some other major drama to distract me from studying, or doing well.
I showed him though. He told me he was leaving me and the kids on Wed nite and I went in Thurs morning and kicked a## on my test! It shocked even me!
I learned my lesson though. I refuse to tell him when I have tests, have a study group meeting etc…to keep his drama to a minimum. I don’t think he MEANS to do it…but it happens every time. I’ve even given FALSE dates for tests..and sure enough…major drama either the night before or morning of. Every single time. SICKO…I am so tired of dealing w/ his crap.
Now that Im not telling when I have big school stuff he's scrambling to find new ways to keep me off balance.
But he doesn't know I finally told my mom what is going on and she is ready to rip his b#%%@ off she's so mad.
But she's proud of me. I told her what was happening, how I was coping, I didn't cry, I didn't get upset...I just told her what I now believe, he's just too sick for me to keep investing in, and I don't want someone who doesn't want me. I believe God wants ME to be happy too and I can't be w/ him so I am taking this as an oppty to have a good and happy life w/out him in it. She's really really happy for me, and proud that I'm showing him how strong I really am. I feel revitalized now that she knows and that I have her support no matter what I do. today sucked...as far as dealing w/ RAH...but I'm happy.
I really am.
Counting down the days til August when I get to start my life again!