My AH is (was) a chef, so all of our friends drank and carried on and were out all night. There was a real social, party aspect to it, and enough people in the industry were sloppy, messy drunks that he blended in and looked like he could handle himself. He just didn't appear to have a problem. After we got married we became serious wine drinkers, which went right along with his career, and then at some point graduated to martinis and other mixed drinks. He started buying lots of hard liquor in addition to the wine. I was a social drinker too, so I never thought anything of it. I started catching him sneaking drinks off the top of the bottle, or pouring drinks that were all liquor, teensy-tiny bit of mixer, and when I asked him about it he got really defensive. By the time I realized how serious it was, he was drinking up to a handle of vodka a day. He used to fill up empty water bottles with vodka and take them to work and in the car, keep them next to the bed, etc. I feel really naive for not realizing what was going on sooner.
I don't drink at all anymore, it bothers me so much to even be around it because it's ruined so much in my life. Today my AH is a moody, quiet drinker that does most of his drinking on the sly. He avoids friends and family, especially me, and passes out on the couch at all hours with the TV cranked. He can be so sneaky that I have a hard time figuring out if he's just being moody and depressed or if he's been drinking, and he's a damn near professional liar.
I miss the "old" him so much because he used to be so funny and clever and charming. Now all his charms are used to deceive us.