I find the memories of the craziness get really dimmed.
Amen to that. I have three good friends that I told, in the middle of the worst times, "if I ever get out of this alive, and I start forgetting -- please knock me upside the head with some stories that I've told you."
And they do. And I love them for it.
The thing is, once you're away from the madness, you start telling yourself stories in your mind about how everything is going to be different. But they're just that, stories. Like you said -- nothing changes if nothing changes.
Do you really want to go on that date?