hi Florence. (((hugs)))
I had a surprise pregnancy at a less-than-ideal time, and I spent a lot of time feeling anxious and stupid. Pregnancy is just a fact, and you will love the baby no matter what happens with your husband. So forgive yourself the accidental conception and start taking care of you and the baby.
Your counselor is *probably* just preparing you to stand on your own, un-enmeshed from your AH, but you are afraid that doing that means you will have to leave him. I think sometimes we fear our independence because it means we have choices to make and we dread that "obligation" when in fact, we don't have to do anything except see reality for what it is.
Take a few deep breaths and know that you have time to make the big decisions, if you have to make them at all. Skip the ultimatums. Try to avoid taking out your anxiety on your AH. Find a healthy outlet - al-anon, more counsleing, exercise, yoga - for that.
What you need is clarity and the ability to see. ((hugs)) the answers will come later.
