Welcome! This board has been a real life-saver for many of us! Please do try to go to a meeting ~ the face-to-face is invaluable and validating. Yes, in a small town, everyone already knows he's an alcoholic. Try to reach some calm boundaries, and really define what that means to you logistically. For example, when I started dealing with my responses to ABF's drinking, I decided that I would no longer hand alcohol to anyone. Tense, awkward... you bet. But he's the only one who ever noticed, and that was almost 2 years ago.
Keep checking in!
- Sylvie