My meeting generically uses the word "qualifier" to identify the alcoholic.
Many of us identify who the "qualifier" is with relation to us, but not everybody.
You don't have to share anything you don't feel comfortable sharing.
You don't even have to share at all, if you don't want to.
The great thing about Al-Anon is that EVERYONE is in a similar situation. EVERYONE understands, and because they appreciate the "Anonymous" part, they are sure to keep it themselves.
I live in the city, and I've run into people from my Al-Anon groups elsewhere, as well.
We'll nod, or smile, or give a hug or a friendly "How are you doing?" - but nobody mentions alcoholism, or Al-Anon.
One woman said "I'll see you tomorrow!" the day before my favorite meeting, and that is as close as we have come to acknowledging that we both attend the same meeting.