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Old 02-15-2011, 07:20 AM
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Tuffgirl
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Welcome, Lizzie99. If there's one thing that seems to be common amongst family members of alcoholics I've met, including myself, its the lost of trust in oneself and their instincts. Someone on this forum has a tagline that says something to the effect of "Validation is for the truth we already know" or something like that.

Your post sounds familiar because I, too, had the same questions. It didn't take long for me to figure out I had the answers already, I just couldn't embrace the truth because of what it meant for me, my family, and the road we are now on. I think acknowledging it was the hardest first step, the second hardest has been accepting the lack of power I have over it.

That first meeting is scary. I still hesitate in the parking lot of new meetings, but I am making myself go. Why? Because it really helps. I live in a relatively small city where there is more anonymity but still, seems that any place can be a small town. And you know what? No one at Al-Anon judges me, asks me what I do for a living, or even what my last name is. It's not about that at all (amazingly!).

My heart goes out to you - its a bumpy road. Read the "stickies" here, read some books about alcoholism, and see if you can get to a place of comfort (or desperation) to go to an Al-Anon meeting. The more you learn about this, the more empowered you will feel and the better position you will be in to make good decisions.

You are not alone. Take good care.
~T
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