My XAH made me feel crazier than anyone ever has in my entire life. While in relationship with him, I yelled more, bawled more, cussed more, lied and manipulated more, did more drugs and doubted myself more than I ever have. I don't doubt that there was caring in there, at some point, but our relationship brought out the ugliest side of me. Looking back, I barely recognized myself.
It wasn't separation or divorce that made the crazy feelings go away...it was simply time apart, alone, rest, good food, exercise, SR, Al-Anon and counselling. I remember feeling absolutely exhausted for the first little while after I left. Heck I even posted about it here on SR. I guess I expected an instant fix.