I don't see alcoholics (or at least not the one's I've been intimately involved with) going out of their way to mentally or physically abuse anyone either. I do not think they get up and plan to ruin anyone's day. They follow their addictions instead of doing right by themselves and others but that is different then targeting people for abuse.
I'm co-dependent (the label again, lol) and I'm quite sure I've ruined some days because of those 'co-dependent' traits going unchecked. I certainly didn't wake up planning that. Do you see those co-dependent traits as symptoms of something deeper?
I've always thought of the co-dependency as the deeper thing, not that there was something deeper then the co-dependency. On the surface I was a rigid, joyless, controlling wacko that couldn't figure anything out. Look deeper and there was co-dependency.
My xah wanted to treat his anxiety. I saw the anxiety as manifestation of a deeper issue - alcoholism. He reports that he never had anxiety problems before. Not as a young person before drinking (he started drinking in his 20's), and not as a young adult before the drinking had turned into an addiction. I do know that he suffers from anxiety a great deal now and lengthened his rehab stay to learn to cope with it. It seems like a chicken and egg thing. Is anxiety the deeper issue? Doesn't really seem like it. Mabye co-dependency is! That I might believe.
Interesting discussion - I hope it doesn't seem like I'm arguing or trying to hijack.