I haven't felt comfortable speaking at even the few al-anon meetings I have attended because it isn't always clear what is okay to say and what's not okay so I am afraid of breaking some "rule". I think that totally stinks that you were approached like this! If that's the rule, they should make it clear at the beginning of the meeting rather than pull you aside. How is a newbie to know?! Pulling someone aside just makes a person feel bad, no matter how tactfully you tell them they were wrong.