They say that AA isn't for those who need it--it's for those who want it. Maybe you could tell him that.
He has to hit his rock bottom and find his way up out of it all. Until that day comes, the only things you can do are self-sacrifice and suffer, or take care of yourself.
People do know how you feel here and at alanon!
Sorry you are going through this, we all go through quite a bit, and although my story is different than yours, I do understand the suffering.