I personally think that feeling sad is the natural thing.
I'm not exactly sad today but annoyed...but most days I swing to the grateful or sad side of things...
not so much anger ...that does get better.
I feel for you.
It sucks. There is no other way to put it.
I get mad at myself for feeling that way when I put it in the perspective of ...how can I feel sad when I don't want this life for myself or my kids? Then I turn that anger on him...how can you do this to us? WILLINGLY? and then I swing back...and get mad again that I'm not seeing how jacked up this situation is and that I'm sad I'm losing a person that treats me so badly.
I've got nothing.
I do understand though.
It just sucks.