Day 57 of no contact. In my mind yesterday was officially 8 weeks since I cut all contact with him.
The beginning of Jan he contacted a friend of mine regarding a computer he wanted me to have. She explained to him how his drug use affects our relationship and how his constant relapsing is not promising and has left me no other choice then to leave the relationship. She told him to get himself help, heal his issues with his family and move on with his life. She advocates that his addiction causes me to much hurt and as my friend she encourages us both to move on in life. (Definitely what he didn’t want to hear)
And it’s no surprise he’s not contacted her again. But he ahs made contact with another friend of mine which really surprised me. He actually showed up at her work to ask her to give me an overnight bag and other things I had left behind when I moved out. He explained to her that he’s respecting my wishes that he not contact me, then he says he’s not sure if he should contact me or not, not sure if I’ll be receptive to that or not. Said he needed me to know that he is not involved with this other woman who’s been haunting our relationship for years now. My friend explained it simple to him, it all has to do with drugs, period. He then told her he’s going to meetings, talking with his family and seeing a therapist. She told him if she see’s me at a class we take or a meeting we both attend she would give me the bag.
He’s not contact me or her at this point but I see manipulation as well as fear on his part. Fear of trying to contact me and being rejected, manipulation of him wanting me to know what he’s doing for his recovery.
My plan is to stay my course, stay with no contact, work my recovery and continue to move forward. I know what I know, the facts from the past and I just don’t have the faith or hope that he’ll do anything really different this time for his recovery then he’s done in the past which is the bare minimum. He seems to latch on to others in AA who are like him, resent the program, resent the people there and there is always something wrong with this meeting or that meeting. In the past he’s seen a therapist for his bi-polar to get his medication, this Dr was retiring and told him he’d have to find someone new. So best guess is that the therapist he saw was solely for that purpose and that purpose only, to obtain his medication not to really talk about any of his major issues.
I am not stupid and I will no longer be manipulated by anyone who gives themselves so little. Yup the strong willed courageous man I fell in love with who was putting his recovery before and above everything doesn’t seem to exist anymore.