SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - Great links from TakingCharge999, Thanks!
Old 02-12-2011, 08:30 PM
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A jug fills drop by drop
TakingCharge999's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,783
Hi duqld!!
I found this other link about avoidance addicts & love addicts:

Love Addiction And The Christian | Help For Gods Hurting People

Ouch... I am reading it and its like they had a camera and watched me the last 2 years.

The neediness of the Love Addict evidentially overwhelms the Avoidance Addict. The Avoidance Addict then becomes critical and mean. He then does anything and everything to avoid the trap he feels the Love Addict has set for him. He thinks if she hates him she will leave him alone.

Another "aha" moment for me..

I liked this last part:

This dance can go on and on for years. It only ends when the Love Addict realizes that she deserves better. Love Addicts need to face the fact that an Avoidance Addict, without a lot of counseling, never changes.

If you are a Love Addict you can change. The first step is, like with any other addiction, to admit that YOU have a problem. You then have to go cold turkey off of relationships until you can handle a relationship in which you can go slowly.

You will need to learn that constant drama in relationships is not normal and that you can be happy without a constant string of “bad boys” causing dysfunction in your life.

It takes time to know someone. Good relationships take both people being “present.” They take work. They need to be nourished by both people. The giving of gifts should be equal.

Start today to read all you can about Love Addiction. Realize why you are like you are and take steps to change. Find a good relationship counselor or a group of recovering Love Addicts to join. There is going to be a better day. Knowledge is the first step towards reclaiming your power.
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