I am happy for you TG.
I pray to my HP (God for me) everyday and I don't even try to tell myself what I need, I ask God to guide me or give me the words and almost everytime something happens that shows me God is with me.
Was going to Al-anon for several months now and was worried that I didn't have a sponsor. Mentioned it a few times at meetings and nothing came of it. Then I stopped worrying about it and put it in God's hands. Next week I went to a new meeting, started talking with some folks and next thing I know this woman offers her phone number for me to call her if I need to. Even during the talking with her, she said so many things that I was just thinking about that very morning.
Several months ago I felt God was telling me to stop working on relationship with AH. I kept telling AH that my HP was telling me this and kept going through what you described. This was me not listening to what my HP had clearly told me - I did really feel like I heard those words but I was still trying to control and I was still seeking confirmation from my AH. Finally I let go and let God - I don't have thoses conversations with AH outside of counseling - they just make me feel so bad. I always feel good after counseling session even though no specific outcomes.
I am doing so much better and I am working on other areas of my life. I pray to God sometimes to give me the words to speak with my kids and to restore some of the ways our family has fallen apart and it's really working. They sometimes resist my attempts but they are much more peaceful and interactive with me than in the past when I was focused on AH.