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Old 02-12-2011, 09:09 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
KerBearz
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 220
Originally Posted by CoffeeLover View Post
Deep down inside I am still struggling with putting him out on the streets with nothing.
CoffeeLover, I wanted to let you know that I completely understand this. I am somewhat stuck in the same place, but I am gaining some clarity that I want to share with you.

My AH is the only one who can decide if he wants to recover from his addiction. But, I do have the right to have clear boundaries about what I am or am not willing to live with.

The boundary (that I am trying very hard to set ) is very simple... I expect him to seek recovery as though his life depends on it.

It's not complicated ~ there aren't a lot of rules to follow. It's simple, but I am not saying it's easy.

He has been to treatment & AA many times. He knows what he needs to do - but only he can decide if he is willing to do what it takes to maintain sobriety.

I have to be willing to ACCEPT that he may decide that his addiction is more important to him than me or the children. He gets to be the owner of his decision ~ even if I disagree with it.

You are in a tough spot! I wish you peace and serenity in the midst of chaos.
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