Originally Posted by
dogluvah 
But there is nothing wrong with wanting and demanding someone to change if you have a stake in it. Nicole Kidman's husband Keith Urban is an alcoholic and she organized an intervention and insisted he change. He did.
Still, I see comments on here that state, "you can't drink anymore", so he "can't drink anymore". That is if he does have a problem. And even if it's not one now, as a heavy drinker that is where it's leading. He will end up in the gutter. It that's what he wants fine, if there is no change he won't have me.
There are so many things about this thread that annoy me...
1. I have escorted my AH to detox, treatment & jail numerous times. I have "insisted" that he change. He didn't. Because it's not THAT easy! I am (and his children are) definitely worth the effort of changing for, but the reality is that HIS addiction is not about ME.
2. The point that many of us are trying to make here is that
if indeed this man is headed for the gutter ~ the more emotionally involved you become, it is NOT easy to step aside and let him land there.
3. I do not have the power to change my AH. I have tried and failed many, many times. The only thing I can do is ACCEPT him as he is and then decide if there is anything I would like to change about myself (or my circumstances).