Originally Posted by
yorkiegirl 
Thanks for this thread.
You mentioned President Obama. Of course, I don't know the inside story but from the outside they look like they have a healthy partnership (even though probably on some level Mrs. Obama does a little enabling or allowing of the President's compulsions (i. e. cigarettes, power, etc.). She seems to be the one having to make the extra compromise or concessions for the President's ambitions, choices, etc. (I don't see her as weak or co-dependent by any means). I often look at their relationship (the one projected to the public) & think, "Wow! What an ideal relationship!" (Of course, I could be oh so wrong!)
No relationship is perfect. . . .while this may be true, a lot of us here have to be careful
not to use this to justify our very imperfect, unhealthy relationships. Being in a relationship with or knowingly entering a relationship w/ an A and those w/ compulsive
behaviors says & reveals a lot about us.
Good luck, whatever you decide!
Yorkiegirl, I agree that no relationship is ideal.
I'm glad you mentioned the Obama's again. Like I pointed out, take Michelle Obama. Had she declined to get invoved because he smoked, she would have missed out on a very intelligent, worthwhile guy. So, worthwhile that he became President of the United States. Now, of course that would mean nothing if their relationship didn't work and they weren't good for each other. I and the whole world sees the opposite. Of course, we don't really know for sure. But, she says out of her own mouth how much she respects him and how their family/relationship works or both of them.
In my case, I wouldn't even wait as long as Michelle Obama did for someone to defeat the smoking demon. But, like my philosophy has been this whole thread, I believe in giving people a chance until I know the extent of the problem.
Now, if this guy was an alcoholic, it woud be a deal-breaker. The opinion of his roommate is he is not. I will have to see for myself. All I know, is the heavy drinking will stop, or I'm leaving.