I already gave my opinion on the smoking issue on the alcoholism board. After reading all this, I have to say a bit more. Hopefully this is not considered offensive.
If I were in a position where I had not even gone on a real date with someone, and was already finding flaws with them to "fix", even planning how I was going to do it, I would wonder te following about myself:
What exactly is it am I looking for? A mutual give and take relationship, or a project to fix? Or am I looking for someone to "prove" something to me by giving up something? If the latter is the case, it might not stop at drinking and smoking.
Why am I going after a person when there is at least one obstacle I know of (smoking) that I can't live with, when there are plenty of others that don't have that issue?
Why do I think its OK to plan interventions, alter this person's habits when I barely know them?
Why do I think its OK to run behind their back and talk to their friends about their drinking habits/other aspects of their lives, when I again, obviously don't know them that well? If I was their wife/girlfriend already, and just found out they were doing this stuff, that might be one thing. Just a prospective date is entriely another, as one still has the choice to not get involved. It seems to me if he found out, he would be at the very least, embarrassed. Just because someone smokes/drinks does not make them fair game to gossip about.
I would also wonder if I was just a tad bit obsessive and more than a little controlling in thinking about how I can "fix" someone I barely know.
On the other side of it, if I were the person being talked/asked about, I would RUN the other way.
Controlling behaviors are no more healthy than alcoholism and can be just as addictive.