CoffeeLover

I have been a emotional wreck these last few days. My AH got home from a court ordered hospital stay due to an awful weekend bender and threatening suicide. While he was away I made the decision that we must separate for my well-being and our 2 kids (7 and 3). I have made some small steps. I was able to arrange childcare with my neighbor since my AH was a stay at home dad. AH understood where things stood when he was released. He did ask for a couple of days to come home and get his affairs / plans in order, which I agreed to. He does not have any money, a job, or any local family to stay with. He spent all day looking into treatment options and also consulted with our pastor and is planning on getting baptized tomorrow. He says that he is turning his life over to God. I have stayed away and not had any involvement. We have also sat down with the kids and explained how things were going to change for them. Deep down inside I am still struggling with putting him out on the streets with nothing. Also, I feel that so many people seem to advocate that our marriage can be saved and of course that is what AH believes. Everyone thinks we need marriage couseling and I am not even sure that is what I want. AH wants to go to church tomorrow as a family, so I will be there for his baptism. Honestly, the entire situation makes me sick to my stomach. I feel like I have just been gasping for breath these last few days. My chest and stomach hurt so badly and my heart has been beating a million beats per minute.