To clear up some confusion... I am most certain he has a problem for the first person that replied... Once every 1-3 months is how often I suspect he has been drinking alone at our house, by himself, to the point where he is drunk (passed out on the floor a couple times, almost dry-heaving in his sleep)... and then I find the evidence that he hides... there have however been more times I have suspected it and not found anything anywhere (there are probably hiding places I do not know about and haven't thought of yet) and I'm almost sure he was drinking at home alone these times, but didn't find anything to back me up... then there are times where we will be with friends to add to the frequency of drinking, but those times are not alone... but when we are with friends, he drinks way more and way faster than everyone else, and I pretty much have to tell him to slow down, although he don't listen... It is a progressive disease, and I have noticed the progression with him over the past several years... so yes, he does have a problem...
and I mean he has told me he "has a problem" before, but it seems like he just can't stop. and even if he doesn't do it every single night, which he may do it every night and just hide it THAT well from me... I just know that it will progress to an everyday thing if he continues like this whether it takes 10 or 20 years...
It's not that I don't want him to drink at all... I occasionally like to drink on special occasions and have a good time, but he is doing this alone at home(probably more frequently than I know about), hiding the fact that he is doing it, and whenever it is brought up it's like he pretends like nothing is wrong and shuts down completely, and wont talk about it... he just enjoys it too much to where he is doing it more and more over the years, and doesn't realize that it is a problem. I don't know how else to explain it... I'm sure you guys understand what I am going through though...
For those who seemed to understand where I am coming from... I just don't know how to focus on myself when he is such a huge part of my life, and when it repulses me to come home from work to him passed out from drinking... it just seems impossible to me right now... how do I do it??