Originally Posted by
dogluvah 
Just wondering why most of you having a problem with me going on a couple casual dates with him to see exactly what's up, like a couple members on here posted?
I was you and I married the man you post about. I think a lot of us here identify with that. It was painful and we want to spare you but of course...it doesn't really work that way.
It isn't really about him. It is about you, and why you would consider this kind of relationship. Have you ever read the book
Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. I would recommend it. There are lots of stickies at the top of this forum that are good too. My personal experience is that I relate to so much of what you post (how you think and are approaching this issue) and I know that (if it were me) a couple of casual dates is unlikely. There are no casual dates when I'm saving a charming and misunderstood man from himself. I'm hooked. You sound hooked already. Maybe you aren't - I'm clearly projecting. Just showing you the thought process.
Originally Posted by
dogluvah Let me tell you guys something. I abhore the drunk, and will never take care of an alcoholic.
My mother was an alcoholic. I hated her when she was one.
My two brothers were alcoholics. One stopped on his own after he ended up almost killing himself, going through Dt's, messed-up stomach, the whole ugly mess.
The other one went the through the same, and had to stop drinking because when he was drunk, he has to be hospitalized each time for hallucinations, crazy behavior, psychosis, etc. He was forced to stop drinking and never could touch a drop of alcohol again.
I just want to see if this guy is like this. Or if he just likes his drink and would be willing to cut down to say a couple of drinks a night.
I'm sorry you've had so much alcoholism in your life.
The thing is they don't start out like that. My husband didn't drink 18 beers every day when I started dating him, or even when I married him. He simply drank to much. I didn't marry a man that was an unemployed, sick, drunk, tuned out, un-engaged, self-centered, jerk. I married a charming, fun, handsome, man that I connected with - and that drank to much.