Still, I know that if I find out he drinks heavily all the time-he did say he likes to drink after work, but not too much-or smokes regularly, I don't want him.
You know he drinks heavily, you just don't want to accept it. If a man's roommate, and another friend, call him an alcoholic he at the very least is drinking heavily. You know he smokes regularly - you've seen it.
I woud be with him though if he gave up the smoking at some point and became a social drinker only if he currently has a problem.
If you want someone to change before you even start dating them, I think it is smartest to just look for a better match. You deserve the whole package. Everyone does. Don't settle. Don't expect people to change.
I am looking for someone that if he does have a problem would be willing to change it
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If he thought these things were problems, he'd have already changed them. From what you write, he is content with his life.
If his attitude is, "I like drinking heavily all the time, and I like smoking, and I won't change for you or anybody" welll, there would be skid marks from my car leaving his drive way after that.
From what you have shared he is an indepdent, functional, 50 year old man leading the life he wants to lead. To me, it is quite clear that this is exactly what his attitude is because that is exactly the choice he is making.
IME if you play this out and start dating him, insisting that he change these two major faucets of his life, he is going to see a problem alright - but it isn't going to be alcohol and smokes. It is going to be you. You will be the one causing him problems.
When he admitted to drinking after work, and I asked him if it was much, his response to me was, "not that much".
As others have pointed out 'not that much' is in the eye of the beholder. If I say 'not that much' I mean that I might have two drinks after work once a week. To my xah 'not that much' after work would have meant a 12-18 beers after every day of work. And he never looked drunk either.