My parents drank and I separated myself to a certain extent from them years ago. But the "alchoholic" per se ruining my life was always me. As an ACA generally we grow up with little alcoholic personalities without the need to add alcohol. For me my rock bottom was this summer. Over the last couple years my inability to let anyone in, or trust anyone, or feel was coming to the edge of a cliff, I was either gonna fly or fall. Well right at that cusp I found a wonderful friend and i thought I had "finally found someone" who i could trust and who cared about me. We got into one fight and I assumed the friendship was over. I immediately pulled away. My friend let me. In my mind that was further proof that I was right. I spent the summer in one huge spiral not trusting anyone around me. Wanting so deperately to find some semblance of a safe place.
It wasnt until I started trying to find a safe place in myself that I began to heal at all. The blowout happened in June, I began to find some semblance of sanity again in september. In October when I felt safe with me (not always perfect but better) I asked for the friendship back.
I was granted the gift of getting that friendship back immediately, better than ever I might add, along with the new found independence and self comfort that I had never had. Now months later that friend has been a source of constant support to bettering myself, but my new outlook has made it so that I don't lean too heavily on another person. I am my own person with friends, with a messed up family, and my own personal strength to make everything better. It wasn't until I hit my own "rock bottom" that I realized I had to find recovery for the alcoholic demons that were placed in me long before I ever became myself.