I am a recovered alcoholic and working step 4 in the AA program was really tough for me because I was shown, through the steps, that yes, I have hurt people. I didn't want to believe it.
I hurt people by running away.
I literally ran away from an alcoholic home and 4 decades later....I realized how much I hurt my alanon mother by doing so.
I ran away from relationships, ran away from jobs, responsibilities....everything. I was a runner.
I thought I was taking care of myself by running away, but, that wasn't true.
I lost my active alcoholic brother last summer. He died alone in his car in a parking lot. Actually, he wasn't really abusive. I loved him so much. He was never abusive to me or anyone else. His ex's grieved his passing and his children, we all did. All we wanted was for him to sober up. Never happened. That is what we grieved the most.