Oh wow! Thanks to everyone who replied to my post...this really helped me get through the day yesterday and even last night when I came home after classes.
I am in the middle of a busy semester and just started an on campus job...it's going to be difficult for me to look for and find another place but I'm gonna get on Craigslist and some other campus posting sites this weekend just to see. But I think I'll prob going to end up staying here until the semester ends in May at least.
Even after reading everyone's posts yesterday I woke up this morning and the first thing I thought was "Oh, I miss him" and I felt depressed. I miss our discussions and the good way he made me feel and even hearing his voice...I don't even want to look at our pictures together. Grief and longing. Ugh. Has anyone experienced this ??? Care to share about how you got throught it??? On the other hand, I don't miss the confusion and the waiting for days to see when he would call me back or drunk calls and the confusion thereafter. I don't miss that. Anyone been there? Soooo hard.
Thank you for this site and for the folks here. I reached out on a whim after stumbling on this site and was really surprised and grateful for the responses from this forum. Very validating particularly because I am a bit isolated-which I'm gonna work on improving- and all my close friends are far away. Also, none of them have had the same exposure/education I have had about alcoholism so they don't really 'get it'...most were just happy to see me in a coveted 'relationship' after being single for a while. I looked to them for advice but none picked up on any warning signals. Ultimately, I really just had to rely on my gut. One friend even encouraged me to hang in there with this guy because 'no relationship is perfect' and told me 'don't give up on him yet...if you get 80% going right then that's about as good as it gets...etc' wtf?? I bought that for a minute but it never really felt right. I'm off to class but will be checking back in between classes...will appreciate any thoughts from anyone!
thanks! -HURTING
ps also i made an appt for on campus counseling so i can get some additional support with this.